Pinned post

Lately I've been reading a lot of children's picture books, over and over? I thought "Goodnight Moon" was pretty spooky, but I had trouble finding anyone writing about that online. @redoak jokingly suggested that I become the conspiracy theorist blogger I want to see in the world, so... I did it. Here's a totally serious take on why "Goodnight Moon" is an esoteric text, from me, a serious scholar of esotericism (aka podcast listener): pseudony.ms/blags/goodnight-no

Pinned post

you vs the horse statue they tell you not to worry about

Pinned post

people i know having swords is worrying, but strangers on the internet having swords is hilarious. comedy is swords plus distance.

Pinned post

when your tests are hermetic it's all "attaboy," but when your api docs are Hermetic suddenly it's all "you are scaring the QA testers" and "you are getting DMCA takedown notices from Alistair Crowley"

ryan wolf boosted

fuck I slipped and didn't use "…" once.
time to delete my account 💀

ive decided that:
* its time for a Fast and Furious reboot
* one man shows are back in a big way

serenely closing my tabs, except for the recent search for "quicksand open near me"

Ear Buddy is a movie about a dog that keeps stepping on the sides of peoples heads while trying to sing the Clint Eastwood song. the rules are quickly amended.

Show thread

solemnly scattering handfuls of earbuds into the river i crashed my honda civic in. each earbud is playing "taps"

learned how to cut my own hair! third haircut of the pandemic. the air on the back of my neck feels amazing and i feel a lot better about the whole *gestures circularly at entire self*

us politics 

i don't want to hear anyone who voted "no" on axios.com/2022/08/07/bernie-sa say the fucking word "insulin." either they are stunts or they aren't.

Show thread

us politics 

wonks: ignore votes on amendments, they are all stunts
also wonks: omg look at all these votes against cheaper insulin. it wasn't technically an amendment even though the parlimentarian nixed it and dems kept it in to force a stunt vote.

ah gross im on some joe biden dot com newsletter list because of this scammer. there's buying a $1.6k turntable with my credit card, and then there's doing me rotten like this.

Show thread
ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

Etymologically speaking, we have Hobbies now because people in the Middle Ages *really* loved pretending to ride fake horses, apparently.

ryan wolf boosted

Tour guide: This building's original façade was constructed from flammable wood

Me: Go on

Tour guide: And so it burned down

Me: :SurprisedOtter:

Show thread
ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

just got thirst trapped (was wandering the desert and i saw a big lake but when i got closer it vanished) again

ryan wolf boosted

ideologically we are all just a little guy

ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

how i learned to stop worrying and love these nuts

the secret to chess is hating your pawns. and the horsies. and those castle bits. just really disrespecting all the plastic nonsense on your half of the board.

ryan wolf boosted
I would never have an opinion. In my opinion that would be a bad thing to have.
Show older
hates.company

single-user instance for @ryan@hates.company