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Lately I've been reading a lot of children's picture books, over and over? I thought "Goodnight Moon" was pretty spooky, but I had trouble finding anyone writing about that online. @redoak jokingly suggested that I become the conspiracy theorist blogger I want to see in the world, so... I did it. Here's a totally serious take on why "Goodnight Moon" is an esoteric text, from me, a serious scholar of esotericism (aka podcast listener): pseudony.ms/blags/goodnight-no

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you vs the horse statue they tell you not to worry about

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people i know having swords is worrying, but strangers on the internet having swords is hilarious. comedy is swords plus distance.

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when your tests are hermetic it's all "attaboy," but when your api docs are Hermetic suddenly it's all "you are scaring the QA testers" and "you are getting DMCA takedown notices from Alistair Crowley"

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"whilst" and "whomst" imply the existence of "howst"

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don't watch Lady Bird if you are already feeling lots of things, damn movie will make you feel additional things

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was sick with worry about the new babysitter, so much that after everything went fine im still hungover with worry

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I identify strongly with Boo-Berry, who looks the most unenthusiastic about his job watching over the cereal bowl.

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@ryan (To this day I wonder had I not followed my first instinct to reboot the machine while screaming in horror that it was possessed and needed an exorcism if that was a golden ticket to a cushy six/seven figure consulting job for life. Maybe some more deserving Charlie than me will one day find that and inherit the Lawyer Factory that sometimes programs.)

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@ryan I will be forever be amused by the one day where I wrote a SELECT in a command line session to a remote Oracle instance and Oracle “kindly” somehow dropped my machine into a Java IDE I’m mostly sure wasn’t installed on that PC to debug an exception deep somewhere in the pits of a stacktrace in the DB’s Query Execution Planner. #campfirestories

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ryan wolf boosted

me: i want halloween decorations for my room but i want like, subtle ones!!!

my brother: so you can keep them year round and look like an edgy emo??

me: yES

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Lewd, silly 

New Hollywood: welcome to the party. We have a sound bath going on, and over here Elon Musk is showing us some memes

Old Hollywood: the bisexual orgy pit is over there, but before you tag in, please consider registering with the communist party

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I don't think I really have impostor syndrome, and honestly by claiming that I do I'm harming others who are truly suffering

ryan wolf boosted

tiktok seems like such a difficult platform to make content for because you have to not be naked and actively shitting in the pet food aisle of a walmart

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i am very interested in computers, which is why none of my computers work

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food 

@ryan lol, the pink in the salt doesn't make the meat pink, Ryan. Undyed curing salt would result in the same ring.

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