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I made a game! Nemesisters is an interactive fiction game about finding your place in your big, weird family: 5000lobsters.itch.io/nemesiste

ryan wolf boosted

Pellets Guy is just another name for Mega Man

ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

any adaptation of the lord of the rings that isn't a musical is made by cowards and knaves

ryan wolf boosted

the only good thing that flat earthers have done is referring to Neil DeGrasse Tyson as "He who shall not be named." Gotta hand em that one

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"Now we're talking!" I say, gesturing to the corner of the restaurant where a cat is playing the cello

ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

submitting a résumé to potential new employers and a pausé to my old one

ryan wolf boosted

The fact that Paul McCartney not only wrote two of the worst songs ever -- "Temporary Secretary" and "Wonderful Christmastime" -- but also had the audacity to put them both on the same album?

Truly, we live in hell. And Paul McCartney is the Devil

ryan wolf boosted

@ryan A line has definitely been crossed and you can't go back. Time to mount the awkwardly violent horror movie painting next to the collage.

i dont hate my backup son, husband, and wife, but this i feel like the spark in our strictly-work relationship has died

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while i was elsewhere, a coworkers covered our shared wall with a huge family photo collage, centered right between our desks. they were gone when i got back, and a day has passed. it is no longer possible to politely complain about, this is just my family now.

uspol 

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uspol 

ryan wolf boosted

Anarcho capitalism is when you're sworn to fealty as a knight of McDonald's and begin your day slicing cars in twain for demanding more ranch

ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

doctors are like vampires and apples are their garlic. this is where the expression comes from. everyone who tells you this is false is secretly a doctor.

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ryan wolf boosted

the year is 2030. we've finally killed off that sun microsystems programming language, you don't get popups asking to update it anymore. they even built a tomb for it so people could pay their respects, but nobody goes. real programmers don't like java's crypt

ryan wolf boosted

Good morning! There are muddy cat footprints on my desk and my coworker's desk and we have no idea how a cat could have gotten into the actual office portion of the office, it's a Locked Room Mystery Monday

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hates.company

single-user instance for @ryan@hates.company