ryan wolf @ryan@hates.company

Lately I've been reading a lot of children's picture books, over and over? I thought "Goodnight Moon" was pretty spooky, but I had trouble finding anyone writing about that online. @redoak jokingly suggested that I become the conspiracy theorist blogger I want to see in the world, so... I did it. Here's a totally serious take on why "Goodnight Moon" is an esoteric text, from me, a serious scholar of esotericism (aka podcast listener): https://pseudony.ms/blags/goodnight-nobody.html

you vs the horse statue they tell you not to worry about

people i know having swords is worrying, but strangers on the internet having swords is hilarious. comedy is swords plus distance.

when your tests are hermetic it's all "attaboy," but when your api docs are Hermetic suddenly it's all "you are scaring the QA testers" and "you are getting DMCA takedown notices from Alistair Crowley"

ive decided that:
* its time for a Fast and Furious reboot
* one man shows are back in a big way

serenely closing my tabs, except for the recent search for "quicksand open near me"

Ear Buddy is a movie about a dog that keeps stepping on the sides of peoples heads while trying to sing the Clint Eastwood song. the rules are quickly amended.

solemnly scattering handfuls of earbuds into the river i crashed my honda civic in. each earbud is playing "taps"

learned how to cut my own hair! third haircut of the pandemic. the air on the back of my neck feels amazing and i feel a lot better about the whole *gestures circularly at entire self*

i don't want to hear anyone who voted "no" on https://www.axios.com/2022/08/07/bernie-sanders-child-tax-credit-reconciliation say the fucking word "insulin." either they are stunts or they aren't.

wonks: ignore votes on amendments, they are all stunts
also wonks: omg look at all these votes against cheaper insulin. it wasn't technically an amendment even though the parlimentarian nixed it and dems kept it in to force a stunt vote.

ah gross im on some joe biden dot com newsletter list because of this scammer. there's buying a $1.6k turntable with my credit card, and then there's doing me rotten like this.

too hot no thinky only sports anime

the secret to chess is hating your pawns. and the horsies. and those castle bits. just really disrespecting all the plastic nonsense on your half of the board.