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i made a free game a while back called Nemesisters. it's funny interactive fiction about finding my place in my big, weird family. it ends with a Space Rock Paper Scissors showdown, just like Anna Karenina. 5000lobsters.itch.io/nemesiste

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i recorded this short bloopy thing on a PO-20. i haven't messed with music creation since like high school and am pretty intimidated, so i think Teenage Engineering's line of simple, cheap synch/sequencers are really nice. it's kind of like the zine of audio equipment soundcloud.com/5000lobsters/no

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people i know having swords is worrying, but strangers on the internet having swords is hilarious. comedy is swords plus distance.

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i saw "The Hobbit" on a list of fantasy heist books, and i'm mad because it's the worst kind of correct

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you vs the horse statue they tell you not to worry about

with a community college intro course under my belt i'm confident declaring that the Stoics' whole deal was: being nude and mad. this explains why pickup artist instagram profiles are a 50/50/50 mix of shirtless selfies, stoicism quotes, and being mad

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Diogenes was a dude who rocked, Diogenes slaps from a historic context. Diogenes also smelled horrendous and was actively belligerent to everyone around him, both entirely deliberately. He absolutely was a horrible person to be around. The duality.

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and if you must impersonate a frenchman in the flatter parts of america, you simply *cannot* insist your uncle is Gaston from Beauty and the Beast

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if your bugout plan was to move to Boise and become a French patissier with an obviously fake name like Renard Pastry, i'm afraid someone has already done it: idahostatesman.com/living/trea

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videogames are only art if they';re over 50% pornography

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always Mother’s Day, never Mother 3’s Day 😔

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you're all on fire today
not literally, I mean, I hope. I guess I can't tell 🤔

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My ~/.config/chromium contains two files, male_names.txt and female_names.txt, with over 4600 names total, apparently for the purpose of telling me when my passwords are bad, because that’s what configuration directories are for, I guess

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Anyone else think it's weird that the last thing Bo Obama tweeted was "I have in my possession, information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton"

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tired: using zoom as a generic term for videoconference
wired: not using it to not prioritize any one software
inspired: using it to dilute the trademark
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nya nya nyasputin, russia's smollest uwu bean

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If you’ve ever taken a class where the teacher was too lazy to do anything but put on a movie then you are legally allowed to say you’re a film school graduate

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entering gnosis and astrally traveling to mount olympus and meeting with the goddess athena, who informs me that hoes are in fact real

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the concept of meltdown may implies that for 11 months out of 12 people are acting somewhat normal. and i've been on the internet and i don't think that's true

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@ryan I'd do that too, I wouldn't like people judging me on my book choices, except for the big magenta one that says "SEX"

just noticed all the books are turned around in the photo for cnn.com/2021/05/05/tech/google . extremely menacing videoconference background energy!

Accidentally called my grandfather's "stock tank" a "bucket" and I am now in Grandparent Jail.

My cat picked my over-easy eggs off the desk in front of my and carried them away. My sister immediately said
"it was over easy for her to steal those eggs"
and I am so proud and mad.

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hates.company

single-user instance for @ryan@hates.company