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The crocuses in my yard all picked slightly different times to bloom. This one picked the right time, no competition for those good spring rays and no frost to merc it. Good job, lil crocus!

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bored WFH? close one (1) door in your house each morning, and watch your cats melt down in the brave new world you've constructed. rotate which door each day, they have lil tennis ball brains so as long as your house has 2 doors they'll be surprised every time.

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you vs the horse statue they tell you not to worry about

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ryan wolf boosted

canpol 

The Governor General of Canada has been forced to resign, which means that I am forced to learn what the heck a Governor General does.

As far as I can tell, they pretend to be the queen? Like, we have Zoom now, if we like the queen that much here.

Do I have a perfectly functional vacuum cleaner I could use instead? Yes. Are you a perfect villain for bringing it up? Also yes.

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I did get the christmas tree out of the house before the end of jan, which I think is pretty good for a new parent. On the other hand, I broke the broom while sweeping up the dead needles, and then just gave up and went to bed with a living room full of dead needles. Half credit?

ryan wolf boosted

you can barely see but in my avatar it says "damaged" now because I'm so edgy

ryan wolf boosted

@esvrld everyone should have to know a little sumerian to be considered literate

you: "chording" all the keys on your keyboard at once, programming in emacs
me: unable to figure out how to insert in vim, 0 code written, therefore blameless and pure

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orgmode doesn't exist and you all need to stop lying

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drank a lot of ice tea so i could stay up and battle the screamy baby during his bottle feed, but he drank it all with 0 fuss. now he's dead asleep and i am W I R E D. i have no other choice: i must now pick a fight with an emacs user to burn off this extra energy

ryan wolf boosted

the year is 2021 and my graduate supervisor is thinking about getting a tiktok

ryan wolf boosted

I used to have a bag of marbles; mostly used as decorations for vases or other glassware – but over the years, between all the moves, they've disappeared. I have literally lost my marbles.

ryan wolf boosted

i've said it before and i'll say it again: bears are just wide dogs

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all reading christopher tolkien's shitty fanfic to learn more about the flame of udun

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rewatched the first lord of the rings today, and teen me was right: elves and shit rules

i'm so tired i just switched sweaters because i couldn't figure out which way was front on the other one

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George Orwell is rolling over in his grave right now

And someone needs to do something about it, because a corpse is not supposed to do that

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hates.company

single-user instance for @ryan@hates.company