ryan wolf @ryan@hates.company

Lately I've been reading a lot of children's picture books, over and over? I thought "Goodnight Moon" was pretty spooky, but I had trouble finding anyone writing about that online. @redoak jokingly suggested that I become the conspiracy theorist blogger I want to see in the world, so... I did it. Here's a totally serious take on why "Goodnight Moon" is an esoteric text, from me, a serious scholar of esotericism (aka podcast listener): https://pseudony.ms/blags/goodnight-nobody.html

you vs the horse statue they tell you not to worry about

people i know having swords is worrying, but strangers on the internet having swords is hilarious. comedy is swords plus distance.

when your tests are hermetic it's all "attaboy," but when your api docs are Hermetic suddenly it's all "you are scaring the QA testers" and "you are getting DMCA takedown notices from Alistair Crowley"

Hobby Lobby buys a tablet from Christie's auction house, and everyone carefully checks a box marked "we asked if it was stolen and the seller said no" and then the tablet turns out to be stolen, twice now. I knew Hobby Lobby was overly credulous before, but the fun lesson I'm getting now is that everyone is in on this whole international graverobbery business. Everything bought from Christie's is probably stolen, and that's never going to negatively impact Christie's.

A cousin just refered to tribulations as "tribz" on social media, and I am astounded at their doctrine.

Alexa enable the 94.3 WIFE skill

a "perfect" martini has a 50/50 mix of dry and sweet vermouth. a "dirty" martini has a little extra olive brine in. a "perfect dirty" martini can absolutely only be prepared and enjoyed in one's home, because asking a bartender to do all of that is A Crime.

trying to work some more dread into the nonsense songs i sing my kid to sleep with. tonight's:
🎵 have you ever been 🎵
🎵 to the living moon 🎵
🎵 it's alive 🎵
🎵 and they live there 🎵
🎵 so in two senses 🎵
🎵 it is living 🎵

My little sister's instagram for food shaped like Ohio continues to get funnier the longer the bit goes on. There's a fakeout in https://www.instagram.com/p/CRbv9lRhJzy/ , where at first you think it's not Ohio-shaped, that is Art.

I sort of knew half of this band in high school, so I'm basically in Catherinette, basically. Their new EP is on Bandcamp and Spotify and stuff: https://catherinette.bandcamp.com/album/red-rover-ep

my kid crawled up a flight of stairs today. it's a good day.

Important fox spirit detection strats:
"If you open, then you will see a man, or perhaps a beautiful girl, who will talk to you only in fragments of words, but nevertheless in such a way that you can perfectly well understand. A fox cannot pronounce a whole word, but a part only..."
https://academia.issendai.com/foxtales/japan-lafcadio-hearn.shtml#:~:text=who%20will%20talk%20to%20you%20only%20in%20fragments%20of%20words