i wander the search result halls pleading
"christmas gift for wife?"

oprah, country living, cool ratings site dot com, all ignore me

i frantically click further, page 5, page 8

my screams fall on deaf ears, no one will help me with my important shopping decisions

@ryan I go to etsy and search for "geek" and "dragon" and it eventually works out.

@CarlCravens it's weird i tried that and it just said
"i tired of you small humans with your tiny problems.

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