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how do kings feel about stickers, and if i switch to being a monarchist who do i talk to about getting my mandatory quillette column?

i did not get a sticker, so im declaring the grand american democratic experiment over. we should switch to whatever gets me the most stickers.

ryan wolf boosted

Marvel films are low-risk fan service and Martin Scorsese doesn't put women in his films. I think we can just agree that all films are bad and we should be ashamed of ourselves

ryan wolf boosted

Imagine being Martin Scorsese and having to write a whole damn op ed because nerds online won’t leave you the hell alone. apple.news/Agf7uX2faSqq2QkAh2y

I live on the border between 2 polling places and mine changes every time. Pittsburgh does such a great job peppering the city with polling places that my yearly trip to both of them is still only like a half-miler.

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trickster faerie (xe/xer): hello, may I have your pronouns?

me (they/them): sure! they/them.

faerie (xe/xer/they/them): thanks, foolish human c:

me ( / ): wait what

I misheard "miette" in genius.com/Man-man-skin-tensio as "beelzebub" and it's taken me like a half-decade to find this song again. it's good! youtu.be/gxwJxJh7XgY

ryan wolf boosted

Idea I talked about more with some friends: 

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ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

if they were a bigger band they would have to call themselves Bus Halen

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Gotta call the front desk, this stupid microwave won't give me back my hot pocket

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me, who spends all day every day for years writing software for both money and fun: software is usually bad, no one should use it

i feel like i have mild concussion, from how bad 1408 was. im like nasceous and mad.

The movie 1408 does not have enough Tony Shalhoub, not nearly enough.

ryan wolf boosted

Me: Ah, I love falling back an hour.

Dogs: TIME IS A HUMAN CONSTRUCT. OUR TUMMIES ARE EMPTY. WE ARE STARVING.

Me: ...you get fed at the same actual time, assholes, chillax.

Dogs: STAAAARVING.

ryan wolf boosted

twitter DMs (2015): you seem cool. text me sometime XXX-XXX-XXXX
mastodon DMs (2019): Divorce Your American Wife!

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there are two wolves of raisins in every box of Raisin Wolf breakfast cereal

ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

Bill Nye's new whiskey, Bill Nye the Science Rye

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