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ryan wolf boosted

"oh NO" I say through a mouthful of crust, "I ate your bread and now I guess I have to stay with you under the fairy mound for eternity, damn" while the Fairies refuse to make eye contact with me

ryan wolf boosted

today i'm thinking i'll get incredibly mad, online, about 'pokémon', which i do believe are a species of rodent endemic to the japanese archipelago

ryan wolf boosted

the average human swallows 7 bowls of soup in their sleep each year

ryan wolf boosted

i hate to be a grammar snob, but it should actually be "Fewer Miserables"

ryan wolf boosted

y'all "crosspost" between mastodon and twitter, while i "crosspost" in the temple of the Lord

ryan wolf boosted

Warning: Module ‘automatic-breathing.ko’ has failed to load! Your vendor strongly recommends this module be loaded, and may indicate tampering with your system. Switching to manual breathing. You are now manually breathing.

us pol 

moderator, dying, gasping their last breath: pls someone dunk on socialism, my family needs those dunks to live

ryan wolf boosted

oh now i remember why i haven't listened to st vincent in such a long time — it's because i feel every single song on the album. terrible

ryan wolf boosted

@ryan I have one in my barn (this is not a joke)

has anyone ever seen an "auger?" im convinced someone needed a simile one day and made them up

ryan wolf boosted

i'm returning to the woodwork. it's where i belong

ryan wolf boosted

Reading is illegal and if you understand this post you’re committing a crime

ryan wolf boosted

ladies, it’s finally 2018 and 👏 we’re 👏 re-stigmatizing 👏 terrorism

ryan wolf boosted

un (c'est n'est pas une pipe)
deux (c'est n'est pas une pipe)
trois (c'est n'est pas une pipe)
quatre (c'est n'est pas une pipe)

ryan wolf boosted

reblog this
if you have a bad brain
that don't think good

ryan wolf boosted

chrono-beagle. the dog that travels to important moments from history and shouts "baroOoOo" stamping his paws until somebody pets him.

18 inches tall and completely untethered from linear time. chrono-beagle.

teleporter annoyances being such a big part of Star Trek makes sense if you consider they're the 23rd century version of video conferencing

all podcasts are 3 people named "Jake" chanting in unison

every year i tell myself my work/life balance is less fucked and every year i find myself at a desk, washing an amoxicillin down with coke

ryan wolf boosted

why would you windows-1252 encode json the standard literally specifies utf-8 it's 10 pages and it's mostly pictures why couldn't you respect that why why whY

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hates.company

single-user instance for @ryan@hates.company