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ryan wolf boosted

TSA agents wont say the name of the scottish play because they're very superstitious about security theatre

ryan wolf boosted

coronavirus 

ryan wolf boosted

when my siblings and i were kids we came up with the Mom Media Hypothesis, which is the universal truth that your mom will always inevitably walk in at the absolute most incriminating or inappropriate part of any piece of media, no matter how innocuous that media may generally be. I told my creative writing teacher about this in passing and he openly mocked me. the next class he was showing Moonrise Kingdom and the superintendent walked in at the PRECISE moment that he touches her boob.

my little sister has some eggs, so i guess that makes her the leader of the apocalypse. i'm hoping through nepotism to acquire a dukeship of the rusted out hulk of a Giant Eagle

ryan wolf boosted

EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: SEASON 1 is COMPLETELY FREE for the next 48 hours!!! Gay disasters beating up neonazis in giant robots made of meat!

🍖 Pilot mechs!
🍖 Fight your clone!
🍖 Run from the cops!
🍖 Fall in love????

meatpunks.com

ryan wolf boosted

I hate it when I am serving a dark lord and fail him for the last time

ryan wolf boosted

gandi: Hello! This is important, so please read carefully. You are being sent this message because you...

my awful brain: This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it! Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.

ryan wolf boosted

Yeah, I love Owl City, my favorite genre is ringtones

looking up egg-free recipes and they are all like "have you tried adding heat to protein? that's it, that's the whole recipe"

ryan wolf boosted

i hate it when i can't tell whether or not they're giants

ryan wolf boosted

VR is very funny and the people who expect that to be the future of gaming are out of their midns

ryan wolf boosted

If you had asked me which direction I saw 2020 going, 1000 times out of 1000 I would not have guessed Britney Spears calling for wealth redistribution and a general strike.

theweek.com/speedreads/904391/

ryan wolf boosted

o shit I completely forgot, today is goblin.camp's one year birthday! I think I bought the domain after skeleton made me delete a post about mailing poison to a congressman

i was brushing my teeth and looked over and my cat was just in the tub?

ryan wolf boosted

what do you think birds think is happening?

ryan wolf boosted
ryan wolf boosted

how come *i* never find terrifying mystical women who want to lure me to my death living in the creepiest parts of *my* house

ryan wolf boosted

taking out a newspaper ad that's like "kind, gullible, 60% innocent young man looking to be ensnared and held prisoner forever by a evil witch. find me foolishly wandering the forest roads late a night with an easily blown out lantern"

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hates.company

single-user instance for @ryan@hates.company