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Real programmers don't.

They just don't.

You say "will you?" and real programmers say "I will not."

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my best, friendliest neighbor is talking with my other neighbors. i guess to stay safe they are standing on opposite sides of the street and s c r e a m i n g pleasantries.

they sound rad and i think seeing one would be equal parts amazing and terrifying. i'm not sure why yinz made up such a specific lie just to make me go on a boat tour every halfdecade.

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my most sincerely held conspiracy theory is that whales don't exist and many many people are punking me. i've been on whale watching tours twice, 0 whales sighted.

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prepending ten page anarchist manifestos to recipes in my recipe blog, in lieu of the traditional preambles of similar length

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In the Star Wars setting, specifically in A New Hope, the role of droid is witness. As were the bandit characters in Hidden Fortress, the story is told through their lens. To modify the memory of a droid is to have control of that story. Babu Frik is the most important character, not just in Episode 9, but in the larger meta-narrative of the Star Wars IP, both in-universe and in reality, thereby making it the most significant character in the past 50 years of pop culture. In this essay...

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start talking about how US tender used to be backed by gold to instantly signal to everyone in the room that you're probably a crackpot

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I’ve made mistakes, it’s true. Many, in fact. But you know what? I’ve also made errors. And blunders. Gaffes. Slip-ups.

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ryan wolf boosted

for bbc's "last normal photo" thing (bbc.com/news/amp/uk-52622673), here's a photo i took in an office of some rain covers across the street that looked like obelisks

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me: all those wizards in dnd reinventing the same fucking spells or needing to adapt them for hours or days to get someone elses spells to work is sill--

me: remembers programmers

me: I was wrong and I'm not too cowardly to admit that.

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thinking about how software companies slowly chip away at the idea of consent by turning every "no" into "not right now," every "stop this" into "do this less often," every "i don't want that" into "maybe later"

i wish for charts in the news to stop going up and to the right and another finger on the monkey's paw cracks

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something i think about often is the pizza party rap that ezra koenig of vampire weekend released before he got famous which includes bars like "my girl eats her pizza with a diet sprite / order garlic knots and she'll stay the night" and "don't get caught with a wack calzone" youtu.be/mxvKuEWeVg8

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mathematicians: "haha, look at this -- based on what we know about math right now, there's no way to make certain operations easily reversible."
computer nerds: "cool, we can use this to encrypt data in transit."
mathematicians: "nice. Though don't bet on it always being hard. I mean, we solve hard problems all the time, haha."
cryptocoin nerds: "In fact, we're going to bet trillions of dollars on it remaining hard forever."

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tired: cloud strife
wired: strife as a service

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hates.company

single-user instance for @ryan@hates.company