ryan wolf @ryan@hates.company

the incoming president of south korea is not just declaring me one year younger when he takes office, he's also promised to issue a proclamation stating that i am "not owned"

i love how every residential street near me is dotted with little business pins on the map, for people who marked their apartment as their business's storefront or whatever on some form that a crawler dutifully noticed and trusted.

i was trying to find a picture of Porky Pig for a bit and they all looked wrong. i think the Space Jam 1 rendering is the only one my brain remembers, or this is the most specific Mandala effect ever

Por que Pig

i am grilling, which i have been led to understand is an ideology now. so glad to finally do ideology, always wanted to

as a traditional sport fanatic,

The paint on the house peels off and gets lead in the soil, and the dog poops everywhere. To give the kid a safer place to play, I fenced off a corner of the yard. As a bonus, fewer wild animals that wander into my yard will require burial. I call it the Mr Grumbles Memorial Groundhog Sanctuary and Boyborium

do it for her

happy monster's day to all you dragulas and werefishes

The book I helped format is now free for Kindle! Charles is a professional Mark Twain impersonator, storyteller, and my kid's favorite grandpa. "A Vacant Throne" has swordfighting cats, riddles, and long digressions about the impact of cat climate on the formation of cat citystates. Go read it! https://chaztales.net/2022/05/06/special-announcement-reminder/

home, home on the range range
where the dear Deere deer dare
and the buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

i still write "❤️" out like "<3" because that's what mine looks like. i am very sick!

people talking about hating fun like its a rare, indefensible position, but i know tons of people who play Cities: Skylines

I like to take credit for all the things people with my name do out in the world, like: "Greenside can thank right fielder Ryan Wolf for bailing him out of that first inning jam when Wolf made clearly the defensive play of the night." https://www.browardhighschoolbaseball.com/2022/05/st-thomas-tops-south-plantation-for-6a-14-title/01040202

You are welcome, Greenside. Any time.

trading cargo cult strats from my coworkers on how to convince these super expensive appified Cue covid tests work gave us to return test results.
my favorite theory so far is that if you get too much mucus on it, it doesn't work. the thing you stick 200 ft up your nose, to collect mucus, doesn't like mucus.

it's not notable that you can peel dragon fruit like a banana, because you can peel anything like a banana if you want it hard enough

It Follows, but my toddler lurching towards every neighborhood dog

Pirates! At the Caribbean

"eatery" is a funny word